{"id":544,"date":"2010-05-18T10:27:56","date_gmt":"2010-05-18T10:27:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/wordpress\/?p=544"},"modified":"2010-05-18T10:27:56","modified_gmt":"2010-05-18T10:27:56","slug":"devils-dictionary-for-high-tech","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/?p=544","title":{"rendered":"Devil\u2019s Dictionary for High Tech"},"content":{"rendered":"

I found this on a great site called “onproductmanagement.net<\/a>” enjoyed it so much I thought I would share with you all.<\/p>\n

Agile<\/em><\/strong>: n. A philosophy of project management where long term planning is replaced by short term thinking.<\/p>\n

Bug Scrub<\/em><\/strong>: n. A meeting aimed at deciding which product issues can be swept under the carpet without too many people noticing.<\/p>\n

CRM system<\/em><\/strong>: n. A database full of opinion and incomplete info used as a key source of input for decisions and sales projections.<\/p>\n

Competitive Analysis<\/em><\/strong>: v. The act of simultaneously underestimating your competitors weaknesses and overestimating your own strengths.<\/p>\n

Customer Council<\/em><\/strong>: n. A small # of Strategic Accounts whose influence on product futures is proportional to their budgets.<\/p>\n

Easter Egg<\/em><\/strong>: n. Hidden code invoked by secret means that pays tribute to the awesomeness of the application\u2019s developers<\/p>\n

First Customer Ship<\/em><\/strong>: n. The phase in which a small set of eager customers, unbeknownst to them, join the QA team.<\/p>\n

Heroics<\/em><\/strong>: n. The Sales Methodology most often cited by salespeople as their reason for winning big deals.<\/p>\n

Lead generation<\/em><\/strong>: v. The art of finding people interested enough in a product to give their names, but not interested enough to actually buy it.<\/p>\n

Marketing<\/em><\/strong>: v. The art of getting others to believe exaggerations about you that you likely don\u2019t believe about yourself.<\/p>\n

Market Sensing<\/em><\/strong>: v. The fine art of talking to others to understand how your bosses perceive the market.<\/p>\n

Nightly Build<\/em><\/strong>: n. The overnight compilation of all new bugs introduced the prior day.<\/p>\n

Post-mortem<\/em><\/strong>: n. A post-release process improvement meeting whose findings are usually ignored until the subsequent post-mortem.<\/p>\n

Product Issues<\/em><\/strong>: n. The reason given by the sales team for a lost deal when the competitor\u2019s aggressive price-cutting was not the issue.<\/p>\n

Product Roadmap<\/em><\/strong>: n. A highly-speculative document of little substance but much value, especially during negotiations with Strategic Accounts.<\/p>\n

Product Vision<\/em><\/strong>: n. An idealistic future view of a product typically derived while in a state of Utopia Myopia.<\/p>\n

Refactoring<\/em><\/strong>: v. The act of completely rewriting working code to enable hypothetical improvements to be made to it sometime in the future. A favourite task of most software developers.<\/p>\n

Release Candidate<\/em><\/strong>: n. Like a political candidate, far from perfect, but likely to annoy the least number of people.<\/p>\n

Release Date<\/em><\/strong>: n. The day before the first installation or licensing bug is reported by a customer.<\/p>\n

Requirement<\/em><\/strong>: n. A statement of need by a Product Manager, seen as a loose suggestion by Development, and as a firm commitment by Sales.<\/p>\n

Research Firms<\/em><\/strong>: n. Companies that provide CYA services to buyers via simple diagrams and expensive reports. Also applies to Management Consultants.<\/p>\n

SAAS<\/em><\/strong>: n. Same Applications Available by Subscription<\/p>\n

Sales<\/em><\/strong>: v. The art of turning leads into gold.<\/p>\n

Sales Club<\/em><\/strong>: n. A disincentive program for non-sales employees who make significant contributions but aren\u2019t likewise rewarded with a trip to an exotic location.<\/p>\n

Sales Forecast<\/em><\/strong>: n. Proof that throwing darts can be used for more than simply deciding which stocks to buy.<\/p>\n

Sales Kickoff<\/em><\/strong>: n. 3 nights of intense inebriation mixed with 3 days of intense sleep deprivation. Some business transpires.<\/p>\n

Sales Methodology<\/em><\/strong>: n. Once implemented, allows a company to believe sales people will actually follow a standard process. See Heroics.<\/p>\n

Social Media<\/em><\/strong>: n. An electronic communication medium aimed at “connecting” people with each other while simultaneously minimizing actual human contact.<\/p>\n

Social Networking<\/em><\/strong>: v. The opposite of anti-social networking.<\/p>\n

Software Architecture<\/em><\/strong>: n. The technical underpinning of software systems and the chief roadblock to making major improvements to them. See also: Refactoring.<\/p>\n

Strategic Account<\/em><\/strong>: n. A customer with lots of money to spend, usually on things that are not core to your business. Often a member of a Customer Council.<\/p>\n

Software upgrade<\/em><\/strong>: n. A work creation program for the Technical Support team.<\/p>\n

Technical Support team<\/em><\/strong>: n. The group with the most customer and product exposure but with the least say in customer and product decisions.<\/p>\n

Trade Show<\/em><\/strong>: n. A gathering of like-minded people all seeking knowledge of the best free giveaways on the show floor.<\/p>\n

Undercut by Competitor<\/em><\/strong>: n. The most common reason salespeople cite for the failure of Heroics.<\/p>\n

Usability<\/em><\/strong>: n. The first thing customers experience and virtually the last thing developers think about.<\/p>\n

Utopia Myopia<\/em><\/strong>: n. The condition of only seeing ideal outcomes and ignoring all other data. The opposite of analysis paralysis.<\/p>\n

Waterfall<\/em><\/strong>: n. A software development methodology that starts with long term planning along a path this is unclear and which likely ends with a fall over a cliff and a crash on rocks below.<\/p>\n

Win\/Loss Analysis<\/em><\/strong>: n. An unnecessary analysis as Wins are due to sales rep Heroics, and Losses due to Product Issues and being Undercut by Competition.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I found this on a great site called “onproductmanagement.net” enjoyed it so much I thought I would share with you all. Agile: n. A philosophy of project management where long term planning is replaced by short term thinking. Bug Scrub: n. A meeting aimed at deciding which product issues can be swept under the carpet…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,21],"tags":[262,677],"class_list":["post-544","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-technical","tag-devils-dictionary","tag-product-management"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/544","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=544"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/544\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/more-coffee.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}